Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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