If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize