she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
