Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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