chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I know her cup size but not her name....
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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