Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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