Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
