When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
