Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize