what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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