it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
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