you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize