oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
