this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
