I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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