btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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