garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
