I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
