I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
