Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
