so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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