worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
