About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Randomize
