Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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