but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
