talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
