break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
