FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
