I'm eating all of the evidence.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
