party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
