you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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