Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
