So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
