somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
