I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
