I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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