IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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