were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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