super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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