I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
