Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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