I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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