If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
