his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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