Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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