I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize