There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
