C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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