I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
