: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
