thus making me awesome and them whores
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
