i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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