Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You smell like stripper and shame
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
