do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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