Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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