I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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