FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
