Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
