dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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