Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
